Today was a struggle.
I wanted to stay in the bed and not talk to anyone…
But instead, I got up, did my makeup, and went to church.
I faked my smile and did my usual, ‘I’m good’ when everyone asked how I’m doing.
The whole time I wanted to leave, but there’s a small part of me that knew I needed to stay.
So I did.
I always say to my friends that God doesn’t stop being God just because you’re in your feelings and today I had to practice what I preached.
During praise and worship I felt my flesh trying to deter me.
I kept getting into my head, but the more I had those thoughts, the louder I praised.
The more I worshipped.
The entire service I pushed, fought, and forced myself because despite me, God deserves glory and honor from me and I will give Him nothing less than what He deserves.
My pastors sermon really convicted me to start dealing with my next level stuff. What I mean by that is as you know, being a Christian is a journey with no real earthly destination. If you are sincerely doing the work, then God will allow life to show you your shortcomings and areas that you can grow in.
He showed me another one today and if I’m being honest, its a scary one. Its an area that I tend to lightly tap at every once in a while, but when it starts to get real real I just ignore it and leave it alone.
God showed me today that in order for me to get to the next place, I have to deal…
I knew I should’ve just stayed home lol.
No, but in all honesty, the thought of actually dealing with all that makes me emotional and if its one thing that makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable, its certain emotions. The dope thing about God though is that through my tears and the momentary feeling of wanting to give up, He showed me that no only was I equipped to handle this, but I also don’t have to go it alone. Not only do I have Him, but He’s blessed me to have a REALLY good support system and if I would stop being prideful and acting life I don’t need anybody, then this process would move a lot smoother.
I say all that to say…
If you say that God is the head of your life, then what about your actions say that?
When was the last time you went out of your comfort zone or intentionally went against your flesh because you knew God had something greater?
Be honest with yourself and be willing to do the work.
Your breakthrough and next level might be on the other side of that thing you want to keep under wraps.