As a huge hip hop fan, today was an extremely exciting day.
4:44 is finally here!!
I've been waiting to hear it since news started floating around about it a couple of weeks ago and now that I've listened to it, I have mixed feelings about it.
Don't get me wrong, it's a solid piece of work. It's well thought out, intentional, and relevant.
(But so are all of his albums.)
He's giving A LOT of knowledge that some people wouldn't be exposed to any other way.
He gave us his soul on this one and as a fan I'm super happy about it.
But as a woman, I have a serious side eye in my spirit.
How you gon play Beyoncé like that??
I mean she did tell us he cheated all through the Lemonade album, but to hear him confirm it is just like dude really?!
Now let me be clear: I'm not mad he confessed and I appreciate the fact that he apologized and seemingly takes full responsibility. I'm mad he did it in the first place and it speaks to a bigger issue for me:
Why is it socially acceptable for women to have to be emotionally dragged through the mud and withstand it for men to see the error of their ways?
I know marriage is hard work and I'm not saying that infidelity should be the end of a marriage, but I hate the narrative that women always forgive, regardless of the circumstances. Some of the problem is that you're giving husband perks to boyfriends. What has he done to show he deserves the benefit of the doubt?
Personally, I believe that I deserve someone that won't cheat on me.
I deserve someone who is not going to take advantage of my feelings for them or manipulate my trust.
I deserve someone that it doesn't take me having his children for him to realize that I'm one of the best things to happen to him.
And so do you.
I'm not saying you shouldn't forgive, but make sure it's someone that deserves a second chance.
I think it's dope that despite their ups and downs, Beyoncé and Jay-Z have been able to work it out, but every person doesn't deserve that chance. You deserve the best and that whoever you are allowing into your space should be willing to give you just that.
If they're not, Beyoncé has already told you what to do: