So I was writing a blog about my dating app experience🙄 ( It's so much to process lol. I'll finish it soon hopefully.) and it got me thinking:
Maybe this is going so bad because this new generation of men don't know how to approach or treat women. Sza got men thinking that we just out here cool with sharing them and just having our allotted times.
Don't get me wrong, there are some. I just don't happen to be one of them (anymore... But that's another post lol).
Anyway, let me put you on to game real quick.
I'm old school. This is what I like and these are my expectations. This might not work on every woman, but I'm sure it'll get you extra points.
Tip 1: Stop being Afraid
I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm going to say it again: I CAN NOT DEAL with a scary man. If you are interested, YOU need to say something. Do not text me 'wyd?' all day. Actually call me or talk to me face to face and ask me out. I'm not asking for a proposal, but if you want to get to know me, let me know. That leads me to:
Tip 2: State your intentions
I am very direct and I consider myself a pretty good judge of character. I know pretty early into an interaction with a man what category he's going to end up in.
I know men have similar feelings about us.
The problem is that some men will lead you on and have you thinking you're building a foundation for a relationship when you're just building the foundation of the house you're going to live in which is smack dab in the middle of the friend zone.
Men, be real! If you don't see it going somewhere, keep it 💯 and let her decide what she wants to do, but don't lead her on.
That's not cool.
(Ladies, this goes for you too. You know you don't like him. Be honest.)
Tip 3: Respect Boundaries
This one is really important. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a man something is a no go for me and instead of respecting it, it's taken as a challenge.
To be fair, a part of me gets it. I don't know how many other women have told him that something wouldn't happen, but he kept chipping away at it and eventually she gave in.
I used to be that girl, but not anymore.
I will immediately shut you down when you show me that you don't respect my boundaries.
No one has time.
Tip 4: Chivalry will get you far
The term 'chivalry is dead' is a cop out to me. It's laziness in full effect. At this point in my life, I'm not just dating to date. If we are to the point where I allow you to take me out, please know that I am mentally taking notes on how you'll potentially teach my daughter how a man should treat her.
My father, brothers, and male friends have all set the bar pretty high at this point. If we are on our first date, please note that I am not opening doors, I'm not going to the movies, I will correct you if I'm walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk, and I'm not 'just seeing how it goes' or 'going with the flow'. I expect you to have a thought out plan that includes an activity that gives us the opportunity to get a feel for each other.
Ask me questions.
Find out what I like or invite me somewhere that you really like.
Tip 5: First Impressions are EVERYTHING
So if we've made it this far, then congratulations because I know me lol. We've gone out, gotten to know each other, and we're vibing. I like you and like me.
Now, you gotta meet my people and there's levels to this:
Level 1- my friends
Level 2- my church family
Level 3- my siblings
Level 4- my momma
Level 5- my daddy
I know what you're thinking:
That's too much. All those opinions don't matter. That's too many people in your business.
Hear me out though. There are VERY FEW people who even get to level 1 with me. You have to be extremely protective of your circles, so if I want you around these people, you should feel honored.
Whoever you're dating needs to know that you're surrounded by people who love and care about you and if they're trying to play you, they have people to answer to.
I save my dad for last because he is the hardest critic out of anyone. He's like The top level boss you gotta beat at the end of a video game.
He does not play, but he's realistic.
(That's half of where I get it from lol).
He's not one of those, 'No one is good enough for my daughter' kind of men, but he definitely has certain expectations because I'm his daughter.
I know I just threw a lot at y'all, but ladies and gentlemen, we have got to do better.
Ladies, we have to start demanding more up front. Demand respect. Demand consideration of your feelings. Demand loyalty. Demand trust. Demand that he treat you exactly how you want and don't accept anything less.
Gentlemen, just go back to the basics. Be responsible. Be respectful. Be attentive. Dress like you care about your appearance. You're auditioning for the spot you want, so if you want to be her man, what are you doing to show her that?
At the end of the day, we teach people how to treat us. There is nothing wrong with having expectations and being willing to wait for the person who can fulfill those.
Ok. I'm done lol. I'm not going to let my dating app debacle discourage me. God has been doing some AMAZING things in my life and I'm so excited about what's coming. I'm convinced that while I'm waist deep in my purpose, God will reveal the right person and he's going to be bomb!
Until then, I'll just keep schooling y'all on how to get yours❤️.
I just want an invite to the wedding😊😊.