So I was leaving the Kierra Sheard concert. It was so awesome and I was feeling good. The concert was in the Flats, so once the concert was over, I was trying to hurry and get to my car. As I'm walking to my car, this man starts walking kind of close to me.
Now if you know anything about the Flats, them you know it's full of clubs and bars. Where I was coming from wasn't serving liquor, so I figured as I smelled the liquor on him, he wasn't coming from where I was coming from. I wasn't trying to be rude, but I also had no interest in interacting with him.
"You not going slow down so I can try and holla at you?"
"Nah. I'm just trying to get home, but thank you."
"What?! You a ugly, fat b**ch anyway. You should be happy someone is trying to talk to you!"
Of course I had a few things to say as I walked to my car, but once I got in, I felt so many emotions.
I would love to say that this is the first time I've had this kind of exchange with a man.
Or the fifth.
But it's not.
It doesn't happen as much as it used to, but in my opinion, once is too often.
I always find it interesting when men try to drag you after you tell them no.
No it's a complete sentence that doesn't need an explanation, but some men act like this is a foreign concept.
So I'm ugly because I don't want to mess with you?
I'm fat, but that didn't bother you when you thought you were going to get to get up in this fat girl.
As this man yells this at me, other men just look at me, walk by, and don't say anything.
This is my problem.
Men have so many superficial and arbitrary ways of trying to prove their manhood, but when a legitimate way pops up, you ghost.
Be clear, I'm not the damsel in distress that's needs prince charming to come save her, but in that moment, none of those men knew that.
I understand that in the world we live in you never know what could happen and fear has no gender. I can understand a man being afraid to say something, especially since they don't know the situation, but as someone who has jumped all in someone's Kool Aid when I felt they were being disrespected, I can't rock with that.
Men wonder why women feel like we have to be so independent but situations like this help cultivate these types of feelings. I know that if a man that I knew was with me he would have stepped in, but how about the fact that I'm a woman that clearly doesn't not know this man and he's being completely disrespectful? Would you want someone talking to your mother, sister, or daughter like that?
I say all that to say that if you are a man and you or you have a friend that treats women this way and you don't call them out on it, you're just as bad as him. It's not ok for anyone to see anyone being treated wrong and you not say anything. We have a responsibility to one another as humans to protect and love one another. I don't have to like you to know that you don't deserve disrespect.
So the next time you're out and you see someone being done wrong, say something. Stand up. Just because I didn't need a prince charming doesn't mean that the next girl won't.