I'm Gon Take Yo Man

I am a Cardi B fan. I think she's hilarious, her music is decent, and I love people who are comfortable in their skin, regardless of how crazy that skin is. I've been watching this season of Love and Hip Hop though and it seems to have one common theme:

Imma take ya man.

From Cardi and Asia to Bianca and Sky, just about every storyline has to do with a woman taking another woman's man and I really want to understand why.

Don't get me wrong, I know this concept of taking someone's significant other or being a willing participant in someone else's relationship isn't new. The earliest I can remember it coming up was hearing my family play Naughty by Nature's O.P.P. at the cookouts or hearing Salt N Pepa's 'I'll Take Your Man' when they were reminiscing about 'the good ole days'. I'm sure if I thought hard enough, I could come up with some songs from the 60's and 70's that share the same subject matter, but I digress.

I believe in this day of social media and our 'telling it like it is' culture, we've let certain things become the norm that shouldn't be.

Taking someone's significant other or being a side piece is not cute, cool, or acceptable. At one point I thought it was because I liked the challenge and I wasn't prepared for a full relationship, so having all the "perks" but none of the responsibility was right up my ally. Chile I was in some trash.

Just think about that statement for a second though. I'm going to take your man. Taking someone's anything implies that:

1. Clearly it doesn't belong to you


2. Your have no problem being a thief.


And I don't know about y'all, but I don't want to share my Reese cups, so why would I want to share a man? Why are you ok with that?

Unless you're Trey Songz of course

Unless you're Trey Songz of course

And by no means am I laying this solely at the feet of women because guess what: men are just as bad. From my experience, men tend to lean more toward being side pieces than really trying to steal your girl, but both situations are wrong.

You might read this and think, "You right Ki. Tell them about themselves," but slow your roll, because I feel like at some point we've all been guilty of this. Just because you haven't blanantly slept with someone's significant other doesn't mean your hands are clean.

You know you've entertained a conversation you shouldn't have.

You know you've allowed your eye to linger a second longer then you should have.

Be real with yourself.


1 John 2:16-17 says, "For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.”

You attempting to take someone's anything or insert yourself in someone's relationship is full of lust and pride. Neither of those things get you very far if you're trying to walk this Christian walk.

So with all that being said... 

If you have adopted the 'I'll Take your Man' or the 'I don't mind being the side person' philosophy, I want you to really dig deep and think about why you're ok with this. It usually has a lot to do with low self-esteem, but most can't be that real with themselves.

Be real.

Your freedom from it depends on it.